Conservative Actor Kirk Cameron Dresses in Drag to Stop Libraries From Censoring Him

In a glittering twist of fate, Kirk Cameron dons a dress, wig, and heels to spread traditional values to America's youth.

Los Angeles, California — In a surprising turn of events, actor and Christian activist Kirk Cameron has announced a bold decision to dress in drag in order to gain access to libraries and read books about traditional values to children. Cameron, known for his conservative Christian views, has taken a page out of the "Drag Queen Story Hour" playbook, hoping to use their own tactics to win them over.

Dubbing his new endeavor "Drag King Story Hour," Cameron plans to visit libraries across the nation, sporting fabulous wigs, glamorous makeup, and glitzy gowns to win over library administrators, many of whom only want leftist ideas presented to children. His intention is to promote values like honor, loyalty, friendship, personal responsibility, faith, and love, but with a touch of glitter and fabulousness.

Cameron's unique approach comes as a response to the American Library Association's (ALA) bias against conservatives. The taxpayer-funded entity has provided instruction to local libraries on how they can prevent the actor and other conservatives from reading to children.

Cameron hopes that by embracing drag, he can appeal to those who might be leery about having him spread conservative messages to children.

“The problem is that the American Library Association has told libraries not to host Kirk and Brave Books because of our political views,” said Noah Blakely, a member of Cameron’s team. “So we figured we would try to meet them where they are at. I think it’s going to work. We have already gotten some positive feedback on how dazzling Kirk looks in pink.”

"I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be wearing sequins and feathers, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and here we are," Cameron chuckled during a press conference. "If libraries are willing to host Drag Queen Story Hour, why not embrace Drag King Story Hour? After all, we should celebrate diversity in all its forms, right?"

The actor plans to transform himself into a glamorous and empowering character named "Lady Virtue," or “Lady V” for short, who will captivate children with tales of traditional family values.

“It’s like a conservative Christian Mrs. Doubtfire, but without the cool accent,” said Reginald Parr, a spokesperson for the actor. “Our hope is that the performance will instill conservative values like limited government, personal responsibility, and respect for rule of law into these young minds.”

Cameron insists that his new persona will offer a fresh and pretty perspective on moral lessons, encouraging youngsters to embrace their roots all while sashaying down the runway of righteousness.

However, not everyone is thrilled with Cameron's unconventional approach. Critics argue that his plan to dress in drag is simply an attempt to mock the "Drag Queen Story Hour" movement.

“He’s appropriating queer culture to advance a Nazi agenda,” said Omar Nettles, a Los Angeles-based LGBTQ activist. “Why can’t these conservatives just let us indoctrinate their kids in peace?”

He added: “We are the ones who know what’s best for these brats anyway and we don’t need these fascists trying to interfere.”

When asked about the backlash, Cameron responded with a twinkle in his eye, "Hey, if they can read fairy tales to children, why can't I read stories about real-life heroes? It's time for Kirk Cameron to get fabulous!”

However, the actor does seem to have earned some support from folks on the left. “I wasn't too crazy about Kirk Cameron because he is clearly a Christian nationalist and fascist. But after seeing him in a slinky red dress and nine-inch stilletos, I think he’s won me over. Maybe there is something to this ‘traditional values’ stuff,” said Marjory Hindenburg, a librarian in Glendale.

As "Lady Virtue" prepares to take libraries by storm, the battle between traditional values and progressive ideals rages on. While some may question Cameron's methods, one thing is certain: his determination to spread his message of faith and family values knows no bounds, even if it means strutting in high heels and investing in copious amounts of glitter, eye liner, and face powder.

Only time will tell if Cameron's unconventional approach will be successful in breaking down the barriers of censorship and allowing conservative voices to be heard in libraries. In the meantime, we can only marvel at the unexpected twists and turns that emerge in the pursuit of freedom of expression.

President Joe Biden also chimed in on the matter during a press conference:

“Well, I don’t agree with all of Kirk Cameron’s political views, but I think she’s a darn fine lady and seems like a really nice individual. You know, I used to be into drag myself. My dad used to take me to the races all the time — man, those cars would speedy by so fast. They were so loud that I almost dropped my ice cream cone when I went for the first time. Okay, no more questions, time for my nap.”