Democrat Activists Help Migrants Avoid Trump’s Mass Deportations By Bleaching Their Skin

Desperate times call for desperate skin bleaching schemes.

Faced with President Donald Trump’s mass deportations, progressive activists have concocted a plan to protect migrants: Skin-bleaching cream.

It’s called Operation Baby Powder, and it’s got the left-wing intelligentsia talking.

“We set up pop-up skin whitening clinics across the country offering free bleaching for migrants who fear deportation,” said Sky Foust (she/hers), an immigrant rights advocate. “If we can get these people to look white, Trump won’t deport them.”

“The whiter the better,” she declared.

Volunteers apply skin-bleaching cream to illegal immigrants and asylum seekers who fear deportation. “We’re trying to simulate a visual profile that ICE finds non-threatening,” explained one activist. “Our model profile is basically Mitt Romney on vacation.”

Through strategic whiteface, the activists hope to fool ICE into believing their clients are citizens. “With whiter skin, ICE agents are more likely to mistake these people for unpaid interns or Tesla employees,” said Layla Franks (he/hers), who volunteers at a southern California clinic.

“We had one guy who got so pale he looked like a character from ‘True Blood,’” Franks recalled. “We figured ICE would assume he was just a Mormon doing outreach and let him go.”

To determine whether a migrant needs skin bleaching, the activists created the “Safe Tone Index,” a color-coded chart featuring different shades. “Anyone darker than a Starbucks Chai latte is at risk,” the chart’s creator explained.

It’s uncertain whether the program has been effective. But activists remain hopeful. “Look, it hasn’t technically worked yet as far as I know,” said Thelma DeWitt (they/them), “but we feel like it really could, you know? Like, this feels like the kind of thing that should work in America.”

Some migrants seemed hesitant about the idea. “First, they offered me a place to sleep. Then they offered me a chemical peel. Maybe I should’ve taken my chances with Border Patrol,” Lalo Ramirez said.

Emilio Gonzalez, an asylum seeker from Guatemala, recounted his experience. “They found me at Home Depot, and asked if I wanted to avoid deportation,” he explained. “I figured ‘what the hell? I have nothing to lose.’ They rushed me into a room, stripped me naked, and slathered me with industrial-grade skin bleaching cream.”

Volunteers understand the hesitancy. “I can see why some migrants might not be so sure about this idea. But we really think it’ll work,” said Michael Kahler (it/its). “Our working theory is that if a migrant appears white enough to complain about HOA violations, ICE won’t even make eye contact.”

Nevertheless, the plan hasn’t worked as well as intended. “Esteban was totally bleached, wearing a ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ tank top, and sipping a pumpkin spice latte. He almost made it to the courthouse entrance before ICE agents tackled him,” said Foust. “So, we’re really close to perfecting this.”

One activist heard about a harrowing encounter that occurred when ICE raided a home containing migrants who recently had their skin lightened. “It was amazing. It was as if these officers had no idea what to do,” she said.

But they couldn’t verify that this actually happened, as the person who told them was high on shrooms at the time.

Since Operation Baby Powder has been active for about three months, the organization’s leadership seeks to expand its mission beyond migrants.

“Immigration is just one example of white supremacy,” Foust said. “If we want true equity, everyone should be treated the same, which means it’s time to democratize whiteness.”

The group is testing a program targeting American citizens who happen to be ethnic minorities. “We will bleach every single dark-skinned person in the country. When everybody is white, nobody is white,” said Andrew Williamson (she/its). “Yes, we will have to kidnap people and bleach their skin against their will, but this is the price I’m willing to pay for equity. Nobody said fighting racism would be easy, right?”