Democrats Privately Seething at Georgia Republicans for ‘Inept’ Rollout of Jim Crow 2.0 Policies
Atlanta, Georgia – Democrats in Georgia are hopping mad after a report revealed near record-level turnout at the polls during early voting. After over a year of accusing the state’s Republican government of passing election integrity laws that would disenfranchise black voters, they are none too happy about the reality that they might have a higher turnout than expected.
“We told the world that Republicans were doing Jim Crow 2.0 with all this nonsense,” a Democratic staffer said. “How are we going to keep screaming about voter suppression if Republicans aren’t even suppressing votes?”
He added: “It’s like they’re not even trying.”
A Democratic operative based in Savannah told The Smattering that there is no reason why Republicans should be having trouble keeping black people from casting their votes. “I mean, our party used to do this all the time,” he complained. “It’s not that hard, guys.”
“Where are the long lines? Where are the police to arrest people for giving water and food to voters? I haven’t heard a single report of white bearded MAGA hat-wearing racists harassing black folks trying to cast their ballots,” he added.
Another Democratic official pointed out that “this whole thing is much more like Jim Eagle than Jim Crow” and that while they were told Georgia’s election integrity laws would “prevent people of color from voting for us,” it turns out that “the blacks are turning out in droves!”
A high-ranking official in the state’s Democratic Party said insiders have considered hiring members of neo-Nazi militia groups to show up at the polls to scare black voters into turning around and heading home.
“We may not even need to hire real ones,” she said. “If we can pay people to pretend to be gun-toting racists at the ballots, that might work just fine.”
“Either way, we can’t have all these blacks coming out to vote for us. Things are easier when we can just pretend racist Republicans are stopping them from voting,” she concluded.