Gov. Ron DeSantis Announces Plan to Celebrate 'White History Month' in Florida to Combat 'Woke' Agenda

When will the contributions of white Americans be acknowledged?

Tallahassee, Florida — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has announced that his administration will institute “White History Month” in the Sunshine State starting in April 2023. The move comes amid heightened racial tensions and fierce debates over teachings inspired by critical race theory being presented in K-12 classrooms.

DeSantis gave the announce during a recent press conference in which he told reported that “it is time for America’s long-forgotten white heroes to finally be given some attention.”

He added: “The contributions of Caucasian Americans has been buried deep in the sands of American history. We’re going to change that,” he said as onlookers cheered.

The move comes just after a standoff between Florida and the College Board over the introduction of an AP African American studies course geared toward older high school students. The state took issue with elements of the program that reflected CRT and other forms of far-leftist ideology.

“The contributions of white Americans have long gone overlooked,” DeSantis said to confused reporters. “For instance, did you know the first President of the United States was a white man named George Washington? Imagine that! Schools just aren’t teaching this stuff anymore.”

Henry Evans, a member of DeSantis’ campaign, told The Smattering that one of the reasons why the governor and Republican allies in the state legislature support such a move is because it will help them fight back against leftist attempts to racialize everything.

“Black History Month and Hispanic Heritage Month are just more examples of how critical race theory is dividing the nation,” he said. “We think adding a White History Month will help to balance that whole thing out and calm things down a bit.”

Evans continued: “We did a little research on this and found that if you were to sit in on your average Florida 7th grade History class, you might come away thinking that America was founded by blacks and Hispanics.”

“One 8th grader actually told us he thought Alexander Hamilton was really Puerto Rican,” another official said, referencing Lin-Manuel Miranda, who played the founding father in the stage production “Hamilton.”

“We're also looking at banning performances of the ‘Hamilton’ musical in Florida because we found that it is just another way critical race theory has infiltrated theater,” the offical added.

During the press conference, DeSantis criticized how American history is discussed, especially when it comes to chattel slavery.

“For example, we always hear about the plight of African slaves, but what about the Irish? Sure, they were indentured servants, which was voluntary, but why doesn’t anyone ever talk about how bad these white folks have had it in this country?” the governor asked.

To address this matter, the DeSantis administration is also looking into forming a exploratory committee to look into the idea of granting reparations to Irish Descendants of Indentured Servants (IDIS). “It’s just like what California is doing with reparations for black people, except it’s for the Irish,” said Scott Pelham, one of DeSantis’ top aides.

Dominique Silver, a teacher in Orlando, seemed confused by the move. “Wait…what? This doesn’t make any sense. Most of the historical figures me and my colleages teach our students about are as white as Gwen Stefani covered in dove feathers,” she told The Smattering. “I like Governor DeSantis for the most part, but I think he’s finally starting to lose it.”

Another DeSantis aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, explained the reasons for celebrating white history. He said:

“White History Month is a sincere effort to ensure America's hidden white history is told and is definitely not just a way to play to the Republican base because DeSantis is considering running for president. We would never do such a thing. We are also not suggesting that if he were to win the presidency, he would institute White History Month on a national scale.”

“By the way, y'all know he won re-election by 20 points, right?” the aide said, with a slight wink and smile.

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