Libertarian Party Announces Kim Jong Un as Headline Speaker at National Convention

If it's good for Republicans and Democrats, it's good for North Korean dictators.

After inviting Republican and Democratic politicians to the national convention, the Libertarian Party has declared that another guest is joining the festivities: North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un.

Last week, it was revealed that former President Donald Trump and Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. would be taking the main stage at the Libertarian Party’s National Convention later this month. On Thursday, the party announced the former Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy would also be making an appearance in a debate with the eventual Libertarian vice presidential nominee.

Now, it appears the stage will also be open to murderous communist dictators.

The leadership of the Libertarian Party is confident that this eclectic mix of speakers will finally put them on the map. "For too long, we've been the party nobody remembers. With Trump and RFK Jr. and Kim Jong Un, we might just get some camera time," said Rand Ellison, a libertarian podcaster.

Other Libertarian Party members have celebrated the move, arguing that it will be a prime opportunity to get the attention of the press, which has long ignored the party.

"Inviting Kim Jong Un is a stroke of genius," claimed party strategist, Sam Gardner. "Nothing says 'liberty' like showcasing how much we hate dictators by giving one a platform. It's like showing how much you despise fast food by ordering everything off the menu — absolutely brilliant!”

“When I found out the party was having Trump and RFK headline the event, I was ecstatic,” said Adam Handley, a podcaster and member of the Libertarian Party’s Republican Caucus. “What better way to carve out our niche as opposing authoritarianism than to give authoritarians the stage, right? But with Kim Jong Un in the mix, that Overton Window is gonna lurch in liberty’s direction!”

Some party members were initially skeptical about the decision to include such polarizing figures. "I was worried people would think we were desperate," admitted delegate Ronny Rasmussen, who also hosts a podcast. "But then I realized, if inviting a dictator can't get us noticed, what will?"

Other members have embraced the bold move wholeheartedly. "We’re all about free speech," said Ann Taggart, a libertarian online influencer with a podcast. "If that means giving a microphone to a guy who would ban everything from haircuts to happiness, so be it. Sometimes, pushing for free speech means putting a morbidly obese dictator on a liberty platform."

Some have complained about the move, pointing out that the media will focus only on Trump, RFK Jr., and Kim while only giving a brief mention to the Libertarian Party. They point out that the party won’t get nearly the level of attention supporters claim and that it will only be an opportunity for Trump and Kennedy to win votes from those who are not die hard libertarians.

However, those favoring the move remain optimistic, especially with Kim in the mix. “That’s the kind of wild card that makes CNN salivate,” said Gardner, who co-hosts a podcast. “Sure, he’s massacred tons of people, but think of what CNN’s audience will say when they hear us saying mean things about him and calling him a statist!”

"We believe in free markets and free minds," said Karl Marksman, a staunch libertarian and a podcaster. "If Kim can try selling us on the idea of forced labor camps, we can surely sell him on the beauty of voluntary association. It’s a win-win!"

"Imagine the debates! Imagine the podcast episodes!" exclaimed Handley. "Trump will talk about walls, RFK Jr. will rant about Big Pharma, and Kim can chime in on the finer aspects of torture and silencing dissent. It's the ultimate clash of the titans, and we’re the undercard!"

Some in the party see this as a learning opportunity. "Maybe Kim will pick up a thing or two about liberty," said Rasmussen. "He might even go back to North Korea with a newfound appreciation for the non-aggression principle.”

He added: “Also, think about the hundreds of clicks we will get from this!”

As the convention approaches, the excitement is palpable. "We’re making history," said Taggart. "No one will forget the convention where the Libertarian Party finally got noticed, even if it was for inviting a dictator to talk about freedom."