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Pennsylvania Democrats Plan to Mitigate Political Damage From Fetterman/Oz Debate By Pretending It Never Happened
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania — Pennsylvania Democrats have hatched an interesting political strategy after the disastrous Senate debate between John Fetterman and his Republican challenger, Dr. Oz. With midterm elections less than two weeks away, Democrats can’t afford any further setbacks.
“The plan is to pretend the debate never even happened, and hope voters forget all about it,” a Democrat official told The Smattering.
The party disseminated a memo among their ranks instructing officials and representatives to use the following responses when asked about the debate:
“Debate? What debate?”
“I don’t remember Fetterman ever sharing a stage with Dr. Oz. Are you sure you didn’t imagine that?”
“Fetterman never had a debate with Dr. Oz, and frankly, I this line of questioning is both racist and transphobic.”
A member of Fetterman’s campaign waved off suggestions that this strategy won’t work. “Hey, if we can pretend we’re not trying to push transgenderism on children, ignoring this disaster will be a piece of cake,” he said, adding, “There are Democratic voters who still believe Russia stole the 2016 election for Trump.”
When pressed further on the matter, the campaign staffer pulled out a pocketwatch and began swinging it back and forth, saying: “The debate never happened. There was no debate, you’re getting veeeerrrry sleeeeeeepy.”
President Joe Biden appeared to agree with the strategy. “Debate? What debate? I don’t remember Fetterman debating with anyone,” he said. It was not apparent whether he was working the plan or if he had truly forgotten the debate had taken place.
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